When I lost my mother as a child, I’d hear other adults including the family doctor, advising my dad on how to help his grieving children.
Here is what they’d say – “Don’t worry Frank, kids get over this more quickly than adults”.
What they misunderstood is that children don’t have the emotional ability to deal with trauma. They “get over it’ quickly by repressing their negative feelings and inner struggles. Repression is one of the most effective emotional survival instincts that kick in for kids under 10. In doing so, it protects them from the most frightening feelings of all – that the trauma has made them unacceptable.
They can’t survive, they’re weak, they can’t achieve what is expected of them, they aren’t loveable enough, they aren’t smart enough, they aren’t worthy or any or all of those feelings that insidiously tell them they aren’t good enough.
Children’s anxiety can be caused by any family, friendship or school crisis or it can be the consequence of a child’s struggling to adapt to their environment. It can range from parents threatening to separate from the family to a child’s anxiety about their difficulties with control, concentrating or even bladder control at night.
If you see a child constantly misbehaving, fighting, angry, afraid, anxious, underachieving, lonely or any other maladaptive behavior, you’ll find a child who is struggling to keep the lid on what they’re repressing. When a child that was once positive, confident and entrepreneurial has lost the belief in their own endless possibilities, they experience a grief for the loss of a part of themselves.
Parents can be an important ally in acknowledging their children’s feelings but still reminding them of the amazing child they’ve always been and still are.
If the problem persists. hypnotherapy for children is a safe process that helps them reclaim their childhood energy, discover their deep well of inner strength and realize that despite the school of hard knocks, they have all the resources they need to handle whatever comes their way.
If the problem persists into adulthood, it becomes a deeply hidden barrier to successful relationships, professional achievements and family harmony. Most of my adult clients have had to peel off those many negative stickers that they’ve labeled themselves with for so long.
Yes, it’s true, children get over these things quickly, if they get the help they need. In hypnotherapy, it can take as little as 2 sessions and they’re back to being their own superhero. Adults recover quickly with hypnotherapy too, but sadly have likely lost so many decades of having given up on themselves before seeking hypnotherapy.
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